continued
“Pull up a chair, we have room for one more”
I looked around to see where the words were comming from. I was in a small room with a card table in it’s center. Around the table were three people. Well, two people and a giant bird. I must be dreaming I thought.
“No you’re not dreaming. Come on sit down” Said the Indian. I think he was Indian but he had six arms and was wearing a loin cloth. Wierd, very wierd indeed. Next to him was another Indian but he only had two arms but his belly would have indicated that he shuold have been the one with six. Fat and bald, he had absolutely no expression on his face what so ever. He just nodded to an empty seat. Across from the two of them was the bird. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bird that size before. It was the same size as of a full grown man. I could see why the two were sitting across from him. The bird just wierded me out.
“I’m not a bird” It spoke, holy shit this is wierd indeed. The hell it isn’t a dream.
“and no this isn’t a dream” and they can read my mind. Ok how do I get out of here.
“You can’t not until we are done playing. The games Texas Hold em, deuces are wild now sit down.”
Not wanting to argue with a giant bird I sat, next to the bald guy. There were two more chairs with chips infront of them, I couldn’t wait to see who was comming to occupy them.
“As he already said he’s not a bird, he’s an angel, Michael to be exact. You do know the name don’t you? I hope you stayed awake in sunday school long enough to remember it. The two other chair spots are for Jesus and Mohamud. Jesus is out on a beer run and Mohamud decided to go see if he could score some weed” said six arms.
“Perhaps as the eternal river runs, we should introduce ourselves to the young man” said baldy.
“You know I can never understand a damn word you’re saying Bubba” said Michael
“No kidding, and you didn’t have to grow up with him” added, six arms.
“Ahh but a stone unturned, is a stone unearthed” said bubba.
“Riiiight, but that is a good Idea. Lets have ourselves a formal introduction. Jesus is going to be a while anyways. Lucifer was having some problems in his brewery. I think Adolf was picking on the imps again, calling them inferior to the rest of the demons and even if Mohamud scores some weed I doubt he’ll be able to hold off smoking it until he gets here so He’ll take forever. So without further a do, I am Shiva” said Shiva, followed by “THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION” in a voice only to be matched by a James Earl Jones voice over. “Sorry I love doing that, you should have seen how the villagers use to scurry back in the day when i did that” Shiva let out a little giggle and continued, “This here is Buddha but we all call him bubba. Don’t try to make sense of what he says. He’ll say something just so the people down there can spend eons analyzing what he said trying to pull meaning out of it. It’s cruel but damn funny if you ask me. Although I do have to say you humans can be pretty damn creative trying to make sense of his gibberish, OK birdy over there”
Michael shot him a quick glare. “ You know I use to be lead choir singer for the big man upstairs, I don’t need this abuse” said Michael.
“I know such a pretty songbird you are too” winked Shiva, “Anyways he’s the Angel Michael and you are Mr. Anderson, You here that Mr. Anderson? That is the sound if Inevitability! Sorry, I just loved that movie. I bet you get that alot don’t you. Would You rather we call you Neo?”
“No John will be just fine” I said. I didn’t have it in me to add the sarcasm that usually came with that. This was just too much.
“So let me get this straight. You, you’re Shiva god of destruction for a billion plus indians. You are Buddha, for lack of a better word, god for another couple billion people, and You”, pointing at michael, “ who apparently isn’t a bird, is Michael the arch angel. Two gods and a bird, sorry, angel. What michael do they make you get crackers? I don’t get it. Anyways, and now we are waiting on the other two gods who represent roughly the rest of the population on earth, I don’t get it and I don’t buy it.” I said, “Polly wanna cracker” I asked Michael.
“The rolling stone gathers no moss” said Bubba.
“Oh, shut up, does he do that all the time?” I asked.
“I’m afraid so”, said Shiva “And I think you hurt Michael’s feelings, Here michael have a cracker. You know it doesn’t really matter if you don’t buy it and you will eventually get it but as long as you’re here why don’t you just pretend.”
“No, I want out, and I want out now” I said
“Go ahead, leave” said Shiva.
I looked around. Wonderful, no doors. And then I stopped. Why was I getting all up in a huff? This could be fun. It’s not everyday one halucinates about meeting Shiva, Buddha and Michael. I wonder if Jesus and Mohamud will actually show up. Hell lets have fun with this.
“Now that’s the spirit” I looked around. It didn’t recognise the voice.
“Hey J.C. took you long eonugh” said bubba.
Oh so he can actually be coherent. Bubba winked at me as Jesus replied,
“Sorry, had to shove a lightning bolt up hitlers ass. He just doesn’t get it. I’m thinkin he’ll be workin in the brew house for another two hundred years or so. That is if he isn’t transfered to changing out the papers in the angel house. He’s skating on thin ice. Dad doesn’t like to be kept waiting when it comes to his guiness, Speaking of which he said we could hit earth next week and go to disney land”
“Nice!”, said Shiva “I love space mountain”
“Mmmmm pronto pups” said bubba, letting a lil drool slip out the corner of his mouth.
“Ya, this time I say we hit California, Paris just isn’t the same and just being near all that wine makes my stomach queesy” said Jesus
“What? It’s been two thousand years you still off the wine?” asked Bubba
“Hey you get nailed to a cross, and see what kind of hangover you wake up with” said Jesus
“No thanks, I prefer to just slip into Nirvana” said Bubba. “The bird when flown spots the worm when grown”
“Knock it off, You know I get nailed to that cross to save humanity and look what it’s done since then. God dammit It just irks the hell out of me.” said Jesus.
“Hey hey hey J.C. lets not start up with that. It was a rotten deal, we all know but we have cards to play” said Shiva. He winked at Jesus and gave me a quick glance.
“Ya you’re right, besides beers better, I gotta figure out a way to get them down there to switch out the wine for beer down there in church” said Jesus. “Is Mohamud here yet?” he asked.
“Nope” said Shiva.
“Weed?”asked Jesus.
“Yup” said Bubba
“Oh boy” said Jeus,” Michael why are you so quite?”
“Johnny there called him a bird” said Shiva
“Oh” said Jesus.”I’m not a bird dammit” said Michael
“Of course not Michael” said Jesus and then to me “He’s a bit sensitive when it comes to that, be nice to him, he’s a handy guy to have around”
I just sat there, listening, wondering when I was going to wake up.
I looked around to see where the words were comming from. I was in a small room with a card table in it’s center. Around the table were three people. Well, two people and a giant bird. I must be dreaming I thought.
“No you’re not dreaming. Come on sit down” Said the Indian. I think he was Indian but he had six arms and was wearing a loin cloth. Wierd, very wierd indeed. Next to him was another Indian but he only had two arms but his belly would have indicated that he shuold have been the one with six. Fat and bald, he had absolutely no expression on his face what so ever. He just nodded to an empty seat. Across from the two of them was the bird. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bird that size before. It was the same size as of a full grown man. I could see why the two were sitting across from him. The bird just wierded me out.
“I’m not a bird” It spoke, holy shit this is wierd indeed. The hell it isn’t a dream.
“and no this isn’t a dream” and they can read my mind. Ok how do I get out of here.
“You can’t not until we are done playing. The games Texas Hold em, deuces are wild now sit down.”
Not wanting to argue with a giant bird I sat, next to the bald guy. There were two more chairs with chips infront of them, I couldn’t wait to see who was comming to occupy them.
“As he already said he’s not a bird, he’s an angel, Michael to be exact. You do know the name don’t you? I hope you stayed awake in sunday school long enough to remember it. The two other chair spots are for Jesus and Mohamud. Jesus is out on a beer run and Mohamud decided to go see if he could score some weed” said six arms.
“Perhaps as the eternal river runs, we should introduce ourselves to the young man” said baldy.
“You know I can never understand a damn word you’re saying Bubba” said Michael
“No kidding, and you didn’t have to grow up with him” added, six arms.
“Ahh but a stone unturned, is a stone unearthed” said bubba.
“Riiiight, but that is a good Idea. Lets have ourselves a formal introduction. Jesus is going to be a while anyways. Lucifer was having some problems in his brewery. I think Adolf was picking on the imps again, calling them inferior to the rest of the demons and even if Mohamud scores some weed I doubt he’ll be able to hold off smoking it until he gets here so He’ll take forever. So without further a do, I am Shiva” said Shiva, followed by “THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION” in a voice only to be matched by a James Earl Jones voice over. “Sorry I love doing that, you should have seen how the villagers use to scurry back in the day when i did that” Shiva let out a little giggle and continued, “This here is Buddha but we all call him bubba. Don’t try to make sense of what he says. He’ll say something just so the people down there can spend eons analyzing what he said trying to pull meaning out of it. It’s cruel but damn funny if you ask me. Although I do have to say you humans can be pretty damn creative trying to make sense of his gibberish, OK birdy over there”
Michael shot him a quick glare. “ You know I use to be lead choir singer for the big man upstairs, I don’t need this abuse” said Michael.
“I know such a pretty songbird you are too” winked Shiva, “Anyways he’s the Angel Michael and you are Mr. Anderson, You here that Mr. Anderson? That is the sound if Inevitability! Sorry, I just loved that movie. I bet you get that alot don’t you. Would You rather we call you Neo?”
“No John will be just fine” I said. I didn’t have it in me to add the sarcasm that usually came with that. This was just too much.
“So let me get this straight. You, you’re Shiva god of destruction for a billion plus indians. You are Buddha, for lack of a better word, god for another couple billion people, and You”, pointing at michael, “ who apparently isn’t a bird, is Michael the arch angel. Two gods and a bird, sorry, angel. What michael do they make you get crackers? I don’t get it. Anyways, and now we are waiting on the other two gods who represent roughly the rest of the population on earth, I don’t get it and I don’t buy it.” I said, “Polly wanna cracker” I asked Michael.
“The rolling stone gathers no moss” said Bubba.
“Oh, shut up, does he do that all the time?” I asked.
“I’m afraid so”, said Shiva “And I think you hurt Michael’s feelings, Here michael have a cracker. You know it doesn’t really matter if you don’t buy it and you will eventually get it but as long as you’re here why don’t you just pretend.”
“No, I want out, and I want out now” I said
“Go ahead, leave” said Shiva.
I looked around. Wonderful, no doors. And then I stopped. Why was I getting all up in a huff? This could be fun. It’s not everyday one halucinates about meeting Shiva, Buddha and Michael. I wonder if Jesus and Mohamud will actually show up. Hell lets have fun with this.
“Now that’s the spirit” I looked around. It didn’t recognise the voice.
“Hey J.C. took you long eonugh” said bubba.
Oh so he can actually be coherent. Bubba winked at me as Jesus replied,
“Sorry, had to shove a lightning bolt up hitlers ass. He just doesn’t get it. I’m thinkin he’ll be workin in the brew house for another two hundred years or so. That is if he isn’t transfered to changing out the papers in the angel house. He’s skating on thin ice. Dad doesn’t like to be kept waiting when it comes to his guiness, Speaking of which he said we could hit earth next week and go to disney land”
“Nice!”, said Shiva “I love space mountain”
“Mmmmm pronto pups” said bubba, letting a lil drool slip out the corner of his mouth.
“Ya, this time I say we hit California, Paris just isn’t the same and just being near all that wine makes my stomach queesy” said Jesus
“What? It’s been two thousand years you still off the wine?” asked Bubba
“Hey you get nailed to a cross, and see what kind of hangover you wake up with” said Jesus
“No thanks, I prefer to just slip into Nirvana” said Bubba. “The bird when flown spots the worm when grown”
“Knock it off, You know I get nailed to that cross to save humanity and look what it’s done since then. God dammit It just irks the hell out of me.” said Jesus.
“Hey hey hey J.C. lets not start up with that. It was a rotten deal, we all know but we have cards to play” said Shiva. He winked at Jesus and gave me a quick glance.
“Ya you’re right, besides beers better, I gotta figure out a way to get them down there to switch out the wine for beer down there in church” said Jesus. “Is Mohamud here yet?” he asked.
“Nope” said Shiva.
“Weed?”asked Jesus.
“Yup” said Bubba
“Oh boy” said Jeus,” Michael why are you so quite?”
“Johnny there called him a bird” said Shiva
“Oh” said Jesus.”I’m not a bird dammit” said Michael
“Of course not Michael” said Jesus and then to me “He’s a bit sensitive when it comes to that, be nice to him, he’s a handy guy to have around”
I just sat there, listening, wondering when I was going to wake up.
posted by Solace at 1:58 PM
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